Film Review: Twilight
All film reviews can be found on my letterboxd.
Review
Twilight lives alongside Star Wars and Harry Potter in the realm of movies that compel those savvy to ask “Wait, you’ve never seen it?” when you mention that, indeed, you’ve never seen it. Well, now I’ve seen it.
We have in our minds that visual art is supposed to be colorful, that visual expressions of human emotion mandates the presence of bright reds and blues: red is angry, blue is sad, et cetera. Evocative and easy to comprehend. We find ourselves now, however, in a world where the richest and vilest among us are at each other’s throats for our attention; their weapons of choice are, of course, bright, highly-saturated palettes that activate our neurons on a primal level. Scroll through your phone, open some social medium, or watch any advertisement (shouldn’t be too hard saying “they’re everywhere” is a hideous understatement of their intrusion) and you’ll be assaulted with palettes that belong on sets of plastic Fisher Price toys. (Just think of the contemporary poster child of high-saturation corporate color schemes and perhaps the modern adversary of all art: Fortnite.)
Perhaps it is my nostalgia from growing up in the 00s, but I will take an artistically-intended palette of low-saturation greys, browns, and greens over any piece of “film” that exists solely as a clown-vomit-colored advertisement for the latest car, phone, or politician. The cool palette makes you feel cold, the shades of brown to express the warmth of Bella’s affection are much nicer than any red, and the blacks, whites, and greys that surround the Cullens are brutal—it’s wonderful.
The score has a fine, consistent instrumentation (mostly acoustic guitar and piano) and the soundtrack is a great little selection of familiar tracks. As a die-hard Muse fan, the baseball scene may have been the highlight of the film for me. Radiohead’s “15 Step” as the first credits track? Amazing. Perhaps my prior knowledge has biased my judgment, but I thought I heard motifs from “A Thousand Years”, the feature track of the Breaking Dawn in the score. Intentional or not, I enjoyed it.
The film needs to cram a lot of material into a 2-hour window; this leaves the viewer with a rushed feeling, particularly in the first act. The score remedies this however, and there were nice moments (e.g., the cafeteria scene where Edward hands Bella the apple) that had no score, no music, just the white noise of a crowd filling the area. It’s a nice little reprise in a fast-paced work.
The film is laden with symbolism that hits with all the delicacy of a carnival strongman playing croquet. A clumsy opening monologue/visual that parallels a doe in the woods to Bella, the cactus she’s holding as she arrives at her father’s, the “I can’t dance”/ballet symbolism that actually materialized as the set for the final showdown. There are more examples here, I’m sure. Not to mention that the narrative barely compares to the nutrition facts on a can of pamplemousse La Croix. I do miss when “still a better love story then Twilight” was in the common vernacular.
Edward is the funniest character in the entire work. His deliveries and mannerisms in the first act are so beyond awkward that it might those socially inept among us (myself) a glimmer of hope to “get the girl”. I laughed out loud many, many times at his uncomfortable movements and his 2-inch thick makeup. When introduced to his family, I thought he might have been a part of a secret family of clowns instead of vampires. Also, to go ahead and make the most obvious of observations relating to Twilight: if I was a hundred year old vampire, I probably wouldn’t be hanging out with a bunch of high schoolers. I’m eight years separated from high school and I’m already uncomfortable talking to anyone who can’t order a drink (21 for us Americans).
To make a quick note about the high school: As someone that grew up in a 4000-person, no 3000-person town has a high school that large or nice; certainly not one with such a large student body with an even greater heterogeneity of personality. Still, it was yet again nostalgic to witness that 00s stereotype of an overly dramatized high school.
With all its flaw, this film was a nice reminder that things are not always so scary and horrible. I was taken back to a time in my life where the real world was colorful and happy and where the world of fiction was dramatically grey and harsh—not the other way around.
Notes
Heavy metaphor for Bella = deer (which is caught by Edward)
The symbolism is heavy-handed with leaving sunny Phoenix, AZ.
“And this will be a good thing… I think.”
Population (3120 people).
She brings a cactus – metaphor for her refusal to let others get close to her.
I didn’t realize that Jacob was introduced first.
I’m instantly returned to the 00s high school drama aesthetic. Mean kids, popular sporty kids. Overly characterized high schoolers in a completely unrealistic high school.
The Cullens’ slow walk is hilarious. Their makeup is hilarious. Underscored by their faux-incest. Edward’s makeup made me laugh out loud.
More visual symbolism with Cullens wearing all white, except for Edward who is wearing dark grey.
Edward is a funny mute with bugged out eyes who wears a lot of makeup and stares at the new girl.
Weird how she’s instantly made friends, but I reckon that’s normal for a pretty girl (I am an ugly guy).
Awesome score + soundtrack.
Gives hope to us awkward guys out there.
Amazing score, acoustic guitar + piano piece hinting at motif from A Thousand Years.
Ice cold palette.
Laughed out loud at Doctor named “Dr. Cullen” who is CAKED in makeup.
Awesome shades of brown to convey warmth.
If I was a few hundred years old I probably wouldn’t be hanging out with a bunch of high schoolers.
“We shouldn’t be friends” – every line out of Edward’s mouth is killing me.
The Cullens’ outfits are awesome; it’s as if they each stole a random outfit from Johnny Depp’s closet.
He held the apple like on the cover of the book.
I appreciate some moments lingering without music, just with background noise (cafeteria scene), it’s an amazing display of patience in a film with an otherwise quick pace and enhances the score even more.
“You’re a strong, independent woman.” Is a direct line from this movie.
During flashback: native Americans vs theatre kids.
Didn’t realize werewolves were such a big deal in the first installment.
Theatre kids attack boat guy.
Imagine going to a physical book store to do research in 2026.
Edward drives a Volvo. Very safe.
They tell each other to put their seatbelts on.
Edward can read minds (except for Bella’s).
“Your hand is so cold” and then Edward looks like he’s about to poop himself.
45 minutes in and I’m not halfway through. Oh fuck.
Amazing research scene with half-frame shots of Edward when she realizes he’s a vampire.
Nice shots in the misty forest. Very dynamic camera.
I’m gonna make the most obvious observation ever but if I was a hundred year old vampire I probably would not be hanging around a bunch of high schoolers
Edward running through the woods at super speed made me laugh out loud.
He sparkles in the sunlight.
Hilarious 00s effects as he’s jumping around logs talking about how he’s designed to kill.
The Kristen Stewart stereotypes are true.
Robert Pattinson is very handsome. If I were a 14 year old girl, I’d probably be madly in love with him.
Some more talk about how vampires work.
Vegetarian vampires is a hipster’s wet dream.
Alice can see the future, which is kind of useless because “the future can always change”.
AMAZING hipster mansion in the wilderness.
The makeup makes me think that Edward is in a secret family of clowns.
Jasper looks like he’s gonna poop himself.
Slowdancing to Clair de Lune is every alt girl’s dream. (Give me a girl who want to dance to Scriabin.)
The scene of them in the treetop is pretty cool.
Imagine having a charmingly awkward boy play a piece for you on his grand piano.
Sweet moment with Bella and her dad.
He watches her sleep. This films appeals to women who write letters to serial killers.
Almost had vampire sex.
Stayed up all night talking instead of fucking (same thing happens in Crazy Stupid Love).
This film is obsessed with baseball.
Supermassive Black Hole plays during a thunderstorm while vampires play superfast baseball. Amazing. My favorite moment of the movie so far (but I do love Muse).
She’s mean to her dad. Very sad. Poor guy.
<entire setup for the climax happens, James is after her, she goes to the ballet studio, etc>
A ballet studio is a great location for a final showdown.
James is a weird pervert.
Vampires fighting, Bella seizes on the floor.
They break James apart and light him on fire like the forest demon from Smiling Friends.
More deer symbolism.
More generic relationship drama, Edward wants her to move, she wants to stay in Portland.
Jacob looks very werewolf-y with his hair down.
Oh yeah, the childhood ballet was feeding into the metaphor of her not knowing how to dance. I missed that one. Nice capstone by showing that Edward enables her to dance, despite her broken leg.
Really boring final scene where she wants to become a vampire.
Charming fake-out where he just kisses her neck.
“Is it not enough just to have a long and happy life with me?” - Vamp
“Yeah. For now.” – Bella
Dramatic music shift while Victoria walks away in black and white; 15 Step by Radiohead. Amazing song, interesting choice for credits.